


keep your eyes on me

by renthegenderfluid



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Western, Dancer Hinata Shouyou, Eventual Romance, Family Feels, Fire, Fluff and Angst, Getting to Know Each Other, Guns, Like really slow, M/M, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, period-typical violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:01:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28196595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renthegenderfluid/pseuds/renthegenderfluid
Summary: When Hinata Shouyou, and his little sister Natsu, flee their home after it's been burnt to the ground and find refuge in the town of Karasuno, he expects to work to survive and provide for his sister and try to recover from the hurt of losing his mother. What he doesn't expect is to find a family in a friendly group of strangers, get a job thatdoesn'tinvolve horses or physical labour and fall in love with a permanently creased forehead and the bluest eyes Shouyou's ever seen.When Kageyama Tobio returns home to his family, three years after leaving to join a rough-tough gang of cowboys, he expects to meticulously take care of their ranch and try and fit himself back into the space he'd left in his loved ones' hearts. What he doesn't expect is to become fast friends with the unlikeliest of people, expand his lovely little family and fall in love with a dumbass with fiery red curls who dances like it's what he was born to do.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 22
Collections: Kagehina Big Bang 2020





	1. Don't Look Back

**Author's Note:**

> It's finally here! I have been so excited to post this fic and I'm really glad that I can now.
> 
> This entire experience has been absolutely fantastic and I would just like to say thank you. Thank you to Annamiya and all of the mods, who worked so hard to make this event as wonderful as it is. Thank you to my wonderful beta Zoe, who was so patient and kind with me throughout this entire process. Thank you to my amazing artist Minty, who made such amazing art for this fic and I cannot sing their praises enough!! Thank you to everyone in the bb server, who genuinely kept me sane and motivated throughout this whole process. You all are so amazing and I love all of you!!  
> So I must warn that this is going to be slow, really slow, as I may have gotten carried away. Alas I hope you all enjoy this, (it's my baby please be nice!)

Shouyou is woken by the sound of shouting and the putrid smell of burning wood and cloth. His eyes fly open, and he rights himself to look out of his window. 

Bright orange flames dance before his eyes, hopping gracefully from building to building, scorching the signs on shop fronts, and sending people flying from their homes. 

Shouyou sees maidens tripping over their nightgowns and drunken men looking lost in the streets. He struggles to identify figures in the low light, everything further up the street shrouded in shadow. 

It’s then that he sees them. 

Riding down the middle of the main street, flames casting sinister orange shadows across their grinning faces, are the Outlaws. Selfish, blood-thirsty, greedy tyrants who bring nothing but chaos and death in their wake. 

Shouyou can hear their laughter and the accompanying screams of the townspeople floating up to his room. The sound makes him sick to his stomach. He can see people trying to flee, clawing their ways desperately out of buildings as the Outlaws drag them by their collars, kicking and screaming and pleading for their lives. Shouyou can see scraped knees and ruffled shirts and bloodied nightgowns. They make his gut churn in disgust and hate.

Shaking himself out of his stupor, he rushes out of his room, making eye contact with his little sister, Natsu, as she comes out of her room. There are pillow-creases on her cheeks and her hair is sticking up at odd angles, just like his own wild orange curls. Even at her modest 16 years, she looks impossibly young and innocent, and Shouyou’s heart pangs with regret. She shouldn’t be fearing death from greedy cowards, she should be running down the street with her friends and chatting in the schoolyard. She wipes the sleep from her eyes with the sleeve of her pink nightgown. 

“Nii-san? What’s going on?” she asks, the sleep still evident in the slur of her words and the droop of her eyelids.

“Outlaws,” he says firmly, and her eyes snap open. Panic and fear swirls in her eyes and Shouyou tamps down his fright-filled thoughts to pull on his ‘big brother’ pants and reassure her.

“Natsu,” he says softly, placing his hands on her shoulders. “We need to leave. Put on your dress, grab an extra and then go get the horses ready. I’ll go get Ma ready. We have about ten minutes before they get to us, an’ we better be outta here before they do.”

As his words sink in he can see the shift in her eyes. The way the dread sets in and the fear of death is no longer a distant thought but an immediate future. Before she can even begin to voice her panic, Shouyou cups both of her cheeks gently and speaks in a gentle voice, the same way he remembers Ma doing when he fell off his horse or got scared as a little boy.

“We’re gonna be alright, okay? Everything will be just fine. But we gotta leave now okay, there’s no other way.”

Silent tears stream down her cheeks as she nods vigorously, wiping her cheeks with the sleeve of her nightgown. Her eyes take on a steely look of determination as she gives Shouyou a wet smile before running off to do what he asked, knowing that time is limited.

With that same thought in the forefront of his mind, Shouyou rushes into his room and stuffs a pair of denim trousers and an extra cotton shirt into his komebukuro, slipping his feet into his boots and grabbing his canvas jacket. He also chucks his bag of coins into the komebukuro as well. Looking out the window again to make sure they still had time and swearing softly to himself, he makes his way into his mother’s room after knocking softly and calling out to her. 

“Ma?” he says to the darkness, pushing the door open with a loud creak. 

“Shouyou?” comes the scratchy reply. He ushers himself into the room, making a beeline for her chest of drawers and starts packing her a komebukuro as he speaks to her.

“It’s the Outlaws, Ma. Everything is in flames and we gotta get going now. Natsu’s already packing her things and getting Chestnut ready. I’ll just pack-”

“Shouyou. Come here, please.”

He hates the way she says his name. So feeble and weary, not at all the woman that raised him and Natsu all on her own. He walks over to her and kneels at her bedside, trying to calm the nagging part of his brain that’s panicking and counting down the minutes till the Outlaws reach them. She clasps his hand in her own and he suppresses a shiver at her ice-cold hand, her fingers are pale and bony and the moonlight cascading in through the window casts a dreary shadow on her features. She smiles sadly at him and he hates that even more. 

She cups his cheek gently, speaking in a soft warm voice. “Shouyou, you are the best son a mother could ask for.”

He chuckles nervously but leans into her touch, if only for a moment. He picks himself up as he speaks, not wanting to waste any more time. “Ma.. come on. We don’t got time for chit-chatting. Let me just-” 

“I won’t make it through the night.”

His blood runs cold. He stops dead in his tracks and turns to drop back onto his knees beside her. He clasps both of his hands, sweaty and shaky as they are, around her own, and rubs his calloused fingers over her knuckles. His breath comes out ragged and he has yet to look at her. 

He doesn’t think he can. 

A sick feeling bubbles and boils in his stomach. “What did you say, Ma?”

He finally looks up at her and she makes a distressed noise. He grips her bony hands harder. Her eyes are misty and her face is sunken in, the dark circles under her eyes very apparent. Shouyou looks at her, pleading silently, begging for her words prior, to be a figment of his sleep and panic-addled brain.

“My boy, don’t look at me like that. This is already hard enough as it is,” she says, laughing feebly until it breaks off in a fit of coughing. Shouyou automatically gets up to pour her a glass of water but she stops him, shaking her head. “I don’t need it. I won’t make a difference at this point.”

“Ma-” he starts but his voice breaks pathetically as he chokes back tears. He swallows around the lump in his throat and continues. “I’m not leaving you. No, no, I don’t care what you say! Ma I’m not leaving you here to d-” he stops himself before the words leave his mouth. He can’t say it. He _can’t_ say it. 

She pats his cheek sadly and gives him a rueful smile. 

“We both know I won’t make it. You’ve known for a while, haven’t you? That’s why you insisted Natsu spend more time with me, right Shouyou?” his mother asks, seeing right through him as always. He was already sobbing by this point, hands shaking and cheeks wet, looking at his mother pleadingly.

He can’t lose her like this. He won’t let it happen.

“Ma, don’t worry I’ll-” he breaks off in a sob again, and this time his mother runs a hand through his hair, the action calming him only slightly.

“You feel so much Shouyou. I’m sorry I have to put you through this,” she stops him before he can interrupt and continues speaking all the same, 

“You _need_ to leave. I can’t go with you." I’m far too weak. I wouldn’t have lasted the night. Here, take these.”

She reaches over to her little bedside table and hands Shouyou two letters addressed to Natsu and himself. He looks at her, flabbergasted. She knew she was going to die, and had planned for it. His mother squeezes his hand with what remaining strength she has. “Promise me something, Shouyou,” she rasps, her throat already sore from the smoke filtering in.

“Anything, Ma.” he says solemnly. His eyes are alight with determination, a flicker of something so fierce and passionate that his mother wants to hate herself for what she’s about to request. 

“Promise me you’ll get out of here. Promise me that you’ll take Natsu and you’ll leave. Promise me that you’ll ride for Old Karasuno and that you won’t turn back."

She knows he wants to get her out but it’s too late for her now.

"Promise me that you’ll leave me.” 

Shouyou’s blood runs cold and he feels the bile rise in his throat, and the noise he lets out sounds like it should come from a distressed animal, not a 22 year old man. His mother bemoans the strangled noise that escapes his throat and gently wipes away a stray tear from his face. 

“I _can’t,_ Ma-”

“You can and you _will,_ Shouyou. You have to.” She takes his trembling hands into her own and continues, “I hate to have to put this on you, my love, but I just want the two of you to be safe."

"I’m sorry.” She finishes sadly, her voice finally cracking. 

Shouyou can’t do anything but stare at her as she weeps quietly as tears run down his own face. He lets one of his hands go from her own and wipes his face in his sleeve. He gently wipes his mother’s tears, passing his calloused thumbs over her bony cheeks. She looks up at him, eyes glistening and it's then that he steals his resolve to keep good on his promise. 

“I’ll do it, Ma. I’ll go. I’ll take Natsu and I’ll leave. I promise I’ll keep her safe. Just like you want.” 

She smiles shakily at him, as Shouyou leans down to press a soft kiss to her forehead. As he straightens and turns to the door, she calls out to him one last time.

“Tell Natsu I love her,” he nods his head, “and that I’m sorry.” 

Shouyou doesn’t know what to feel at those words so he simply gives a nod again, voice breaking for the nth time as he says, “I love you Ma.” 

The door clicks behind him with a solemn finality. 

When the door closes, Shouyou’s mother reaches into the drawer of her bedside table and pulls out a loaded Colt Revolver, and cocks the hammer once before pointing it at the door and awaits her faith. She doesn’t plan on going down without a fight.

As he rushes down the stairs with his belongings, trying desperately to stamp down his urge to turn back and throw his mother over his shoulder. He pushes down the bile rising in his throat and rushes out of the house, making his way to Natsu and Chestnut, their Sorrel Fox Trotter, and quickly tying his komebukuro to his saddle and making sure the bag that Natsu filled is fastened properly on the other side. 

“Nii-san? Where’s Ma? I thought you said you’d bring her. Nii-san?” Natsu is tugging at his sleeve, her wide amber eyes glistening in a mix of confusion and fear as questions pour freely out of her. Shouyou grinds his teeth and inconspicuously takes a deep breath before turning to his baby sister.

“Ma isn’t coming with us, Natsu.” Shouyou say quietly, glad that his voice doesn’t break as he says it, “We have to leave without her, okay?” 

She looks absolutely horrified at the idea, eyes widening and mouth hanging open. The terror dancing across her face quickly morphs into anger as she watches him, and Shouyou expects it. He’s angry at himself too, for walking out and closing the door, but he promised he’d keep Natsu safe and he can’t do that if he’d just stayed trying to reason with his mother. 

“You left her?!? You left Ma to die!” she screams, hands clawing at his forearms and her short nails grazing his skin painfully. Shouyou says nothing, because there’s nothing he can say. Tears stream down her face as she looks up at him and Shouyou feels sick. She finally lets go of him when he still doesn’t answer her and whips around. 

“I’m going back for her.” her voice is shaky but Shouyou can tell she means it. He turns quickly to grab her when he sees the glow of torches through the darkened windows of the house.

He grabs Natsu and pulls her close to his chest, whispering frantically, “Be quiet. We can’t go back, the Outlaws are in the house already.”

“But - ,” she starts.

“But nothing! If we go back inside now we'll both be dead.” he hisses through clenched teeth. He continues speaking in any attempt to deter her.

“Ma made me promise to keep you safe, she made me promise that we’d both leave and I intend to keep it. I can’t do that if you’re runnin’ head first into fire!”

“You’re leaving her to die!” she screams at him. It irks Shouyou so deeply that he grips her by the shoulders, _hard._

“She was _already dying_ Natsu! She’s been more sick and frail than I’ve _ever_ seen her.” He digs his thumbs into her shoulders as he shakes her with a little too much force. His voice is raspy and cracks at his last word. 

“ _Even if there were no Outlaws, she’d have been dead by morning! She said so herself!_ ” 

He finally explodes, his voice ringing through the cold, crisp desert air. He heaves and huffs as he feels the guilt at snapping, finally crawling across his skin, but he can’t bring himself to regret it.

Natsu looks at him with eyes alight with fear and confusion and Shouyou aches for her. Before he can stop it he feels the sob bubbling his way out of his throat and rushing past his lips. Like glistening gems of sorrow, tears run down his cheeks, already pink from the cold. His grip on her tightens and he looks at her pleadingly, his sorrow and distress as evident as her own. 

“Pleas-,” his voice cracks pathetically, and Shouyou realizes that he hasn’t cried this much in years, “Please Natsu. Help me keep my promise to Ma. Don’t you want to grant her her last wish?” 

Natsu nods, her curls bouncing with the vigorous motion.

“Then we have to leave okay?” Shouyou prompts gently, running his hands through her soft waves in a desperate, perhaps vain effort, to offer her comfort. His eyes flick to the house momentarily, which is still shrouded in darkness and silence, though he knows it's not for long. She sniffles and rubs her nose for a minute before she nods tentatively. 

Shouyou breathes a sigh of relief and quickly picks her up and carries her over to Chestnut and plops her onto the saddle. She protests loudly for his actions.

“NII-SAN! I can do it myself!!” 

“I know you can, Natsu, you’re a big girl. But we don’t have much time and your short little legs will take too long!” he jokes, hoping that his hollow attempt at humour will distract her even a little from the chaos unfolding around them, as he goes about tightening Chestnut’s reins and making sure everything is secure.

“HEY! Your legs are short too!” she giggles out. She steadies herself atop the saddle and pats Chestnut’s head as he neighs, looking back at the house every few seconds anxiously. Shouyou can feel the swirling whirlwind of fear and anxiety radiating off of her. He sighs as he heaves himself up unto Chestnut, craning his neck back to talk to Natsu.

“Want to know a secret?” he can feel her perk up at his words. “Hold on tight. We’re leaving now okay.” He feels her hands wrap around his midsection and she nods into his back. 

Kicking his stirrup and ordering a short “Go on, boy!”, the siblings depart in a trot, slower that Shouyou’d like but he is just grateful that they’re safe. 

“What’s the secret, Nii-san?” Natsu pipes up as Chestnut begins to pick up speed. They are still only a few paces from the house, and the orange glow of the flames can be seen through the windows of the bottom floor, as Shouyou takes one final look at the house, pushing the thoughts of his mother and her imminent death out of his mind.

“Ma sleeps with a gun in her bedside drawer.” He says.

“What?! No way!" she exclaims, tightening her arms around him. “Why would Ma have a gun?” 

“To protect herself. She was alone after dad died with two young kids. Who do you think taught me how to shoot? Old man Takahasi down the road? Ma did.”

“WOW! So girls can use guns too?” the excitement at the prospect bubbles out of her.

“Girls can do whatever girls want to do,” Shouyou says definitively, “and if a girl wants to learn how to fire a gun, her big brother is happy to teach her when we get to Old Karasuno.”

Just as Natsu opens her mouth to respond, a loud crackling breaks through the frigid air. Shouyou whips around to see the bottom floor - Ma’s work parlour, where she stored her cottons and linens and measured the ladies - doused in flames so vibrant and ceaseless as they ate their way through wood and glass and fabric. The sound of glass shattering and the sick crackling of their home like mere kindling turns something vile and sadistic inside Shouyou’s stomach. He feels Natsu shift as if to look back and he reaches behind himself to pull her into his back even more.

“Whatever you do, don’t look back. Just hold on tight." He snaps the reins hard, the crack of leather ringing out and Chestnut raises into a levade before taking off full speed.

They take off into the night, dust trailing after them and the sounds of hooves against sand thud in the night. Shouyou tries to forget the scent of burning wood and the image of his home ablaze as he tries to cradle his sister against his back. The black expanse of the night sky seems vast and endless as they ride just right of Polaris, North East to Old Karasuno.

“Nii-san, I’m scared.”

He curls the fingers of his left hand arounds hers where they are clasped at his stomach.

“It’s okay, so am I.”

  
  
  



	2. Welcome Home.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobio finally comes home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Chapter 2 is here! This chapter was super fun to write and I hope you guys enjoy it. It's soft and hopefully makes up for the sadness I dropped last week. Feel free to comment if you liked it.

The sound of clinking buckles and rustling canvas is what wakes Tobio first. The sounds make him blink blearily and raise himself up to a sitting position. The shadows moving beyond his canvas tent, the silhouettes of horses and men bustling in the early dawn are what jolts him awake. 

They hadn’t told him they’d be leaving.

Tobio quickly tries to ready himself in his sleep-addled haze. He pulls a dark blue cotton shirt, leaving it unbuttoned and hanging off of his broad shoulders as he pulls on his boots.

Shifting as he does the buttons on his shirt, Tobio grabs his hat and places it haphazardly on his head as he exits his tent. He pushes past the heavy canvas flaps into the early morning sunlight, rays barely peeking over the horizon, bathing the barren expanse of land in a soft glow. He closes his eyes as he straightens, taking a few seconds to soak in the gentle caress of warmth, washing away the cold of the desert night that clung to his skin. He remembers doing this with Kazuyo when he was a boy, and he opens his eyes and pushes the memory of _home_ far far away. When he looks around at the rest of the men, they’re already packed and straddling their horses, and some of them have already gone ahead, set off into the large expanse of nothing but desert in a slow trot. 

None of them look at him - their backs are all turned. 

  


Tobio sighs and ignores the pang of loneliness that echoes in his chest and acknowledges that he probably deserves the icy glares and curt responses. His misplaced rage and arrogance had led these men head-first into danger without a single scrap of consideration for their feelings, or their input. They had made it clear to him that after that dreadful run-in with the Outlaws, they wanted nothing to do with Tobio, because his narrowed vision and disregard for their limits would get them killed. 

So here they were, finally parting ways. 

It always ends up like this, he muses. Something always goes wrong, more specifically, _he always does something wrong_ . For a brief second he sees the image of his parents’ backs as they walk away from him as he cries, young and bright-eyed, wondering _“Why don’t they want me? What did I do wrong?”_

He shakes his head, fighting off memories of a love long lost and sucks in a deep breath of the dewy desert air, crisp and refreshing. He pats Soy Sauce’s neck gently, and speaks to him in a soft voice, “You ready to go home, boy?” 

Soy Sauce neighs happily in response and Tobio allows himself to smile. He straightens and snaps the reins as his stallion starts to trot in the opposite direction of the men who were once his friends, into the endless gold horizon, back to a home that he doesn’t know if he’s welcome in. 

____________________

Kageyama Kazuyo has just sat in the old rocking chair on his porch with a hot cup of coffee when he sees the figure cross the horizon. Light had already begun to fade and the sun retreating to the West shrouds the figure in shadow as they approach. As they got closer however, Kazuyo begins to recognise their features, regardless of the fact that it had been three long years since he laid eyes on the bo- on the _man_ making his way towards the house.

He places his cup down with shaky hands and stands. His body moves on its own, making his way to the front door of the house. Disbelief at the sight of the visitor courses through his veins. 

Or maybe it’s just his old age finally getting to him. 

“Miwa! Come here now!” he belts, voice reverberating against the walls of the house as he grips the door frame like a lifeline. He looks back over his shoulder, looking for the figure against the backdrop of the desert sun, praying that he’s real, that he won’t vanish into thin air again. His eyes settle on him, and he recognises the stallion that he rides on, the perfectly straight spine and riding gait that Kazuyo himself taught him and the old man thinks his heart might jump out of his throat with his building excitement, try though he might to keep his expectations dreadfully low.

Miwa finally comes stomping around the corner, the hem of her skirt held up and her usually pristine hair in a disarray, small wisps falling loose around her temples as she huffs.

“Kazuyo-kun, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” She looks at him, frantic with worry. She takes in his wide eyes and inches toward him in concern.

“Miwa...he’s home.”

“What?”

“Tobio’s come home.”

He lifts his hand to point to the man now dismounting his horse a few paces from their porch. He ties his horse and double checks the knot to make sure it is secure. When the man turns to face them while placing his hat on his saddle, Miwa sees her own icy blue eyes staring back at her.

Her body moves on its own as she runs down the stairs to throw herself at her baby brother, enveloping him in her arms, like she used to when he was round and soft with baby fat. He’s only slightly taller than she is, and he’s broader than she could have ever imagined, and she feels the muscles of his back flex as he moves his hands to tentatively hug her back.

She tightens her hold on him and closes her eyes, leaning her head against him and she feels him relax as well. She pulls back to look at his face properly, still keeping her arms around him. 

His features have lost their youthful softness and are now chiselled and refined. His mouth is set into half frown, with his eyebrows furrowed as he looks at her. His eyes are warm, albeit tinged with a sense of loneliness that Miwa wishes she could dispel. He seems to be doing the same thing she is, looking over her and cataloguing every change he can find. When he speaks his voice is low rumble, deep and dark, and sounds somewhat like Kazuyo.

“Nee-san. I’ve missed you.”

He looks down guiltily and she wants to pity him, but the familiar surge of anger she felt when he first left bubbles up. She brings her hand up to slap the side of his head and watches his features contort in surprise. She also hears Kazuyo make a sound of protest from behind them. As quickly as she’d tapped him, she brings her hand up to pat his head affectionately. 

“If you missed me so much then you should have come back sooner, or better yet, you shouldn’t have left!”

She watches his face fall and feels him try to move away as he averts his eyes in shame. She keeps her hold on him, pulling him close.

“It doesn’t matter now. Because you’re home now and that’s what’s important. Unless you plan on leaving again…” she says carefully, studying Tobio’s reaction. 

His eyes widen frantically and he speaks up.

“No! No, I’m not leaving again!” he shouts it louders than he means to. Lowering his voice a tad bit he continues. “I’m home now. Home for good.”

She smiles brilliantly at him before she hears their grandfather clear his throat. The siblings part and turn to face him. Kazuyo is looking fondly at them and spreads his arms wide, looking at Tobio expectantly. Tobio carefully steps forward and embraces his grandfather. He buries his head in the crook of his neck and Kazuyo chuckles fondly at Tobio’s behaviour. 

“Welcome home.”

“Glad to be home,” Tobio smiles. 

Miwa walks up to them and places a gentle hand on each of their shoulders. Her smile is warm and open as she informs them that she’s going back inside to get dinner going, and they can stay on the porch to catch up. 

When they get comfortable on the porch, Kazuyo in his wooden rocking chair and Tobio in a wicker chair that’s _just a little_ _too small_ for his large adult frame, Kazuyo initiates a conversation. He’s not seen his grandson in three years, and in that space of time it’d felt like their house was missing something. Like _they_ had been missing something. 

“So Tobio, what was it like out on your own? Did you meet a lot of new people?”

Tobio tells him about his years away from home. He starts off reluctantly, stuttering through his explanations but as he continues to talk and recite tales of his adventures, his eyes come alive and Kazuyo sees the bright-eyed boy that he’d raised in the body of a very capable rider and gunslinger. 

As Tobio’s in the middle of recounting a run-in with a group of Outlaws his eyes grow distant and cold, and the joyful expression drops off of his face. 

“Hey, what’s wrong? You okay, Tobio?”

“I messed up.”

The older Kageyama keeps his expression warm and open as he motions for Tobio to continue, with a nod of his head and a brief smile. Tobio looks down, one hand is clenched into a tight fist where it rests on his thigh and the other plays with the frayed hem of his jeans. They sit in silence, while Tobio attempts to gather his thoughts. 

“I put them in danger. I didn’t listen and I did whatever I wanted, what I thought was best and it sent them straight into the crossfire,” he grunts, dropping his head forlornly into his hands. “I always do this. I mess up and I drive people away. They hate me now just like Mother and Fathe-”

“Tobio!”

In his downward spiral of self-deprecation, Tobio fails to notice his grandfather sliding to the edge of his seat and placing his cup of coffee to the side until the older man grasps his hands firmly when he calls his name. 

_“You do not always mess up._ No one hates you. You are a smart, strong man and Miwa and I are very proud of you.” The look on Tobio’s face says that he doesn’t believe him, so he squeezes his hand reassuringly and smiles at him once more.

“If you did what you thought was best, that’s good. Did they ever _try_ to do things your way? Try to meet you halfway?”

Tobio shakes his head. “They shouldn’t have had to. I was… the worst. I demanded too much of them and -”

“Is that so terrible?”

Tobio stops to look at Kazuyo in confusion, eyebrows furrowing and his lips set in a small frown. If not for the context, Kazuyo may have laughed at how childish he looked.

“Does demanding that people give 100% when your lives are constantly in danger make you a monster?” Tobio looks conflicted, eyebrows pinched and his mouth set in a thin line, sadness and confusion swirling in his blue irises. Kazuyo squeezes his hands and continues speaking, looking directly at his grandson. Three years of doubt and loneliness are etched into the lines of his face and the slump of his shoulders.

“Tobio, you pushed them because you care about them, right? You put all of yourself into making sure they were safe. That’s so like you, you’ve always been a caring child, even with your grumpy frown.” Tobio lets out a huff that Kazuyo supposes is a laugh. He sees Tobio’s shoulders relax a little more and finally shifts all the way forward to wrap Tobio in a proper hug.

The younger man seems startled before he settles comfortably into the embrace, wrapping his longer, larger arms around his grandfather and tucking his face into his neck. Tobio feels like a little boy in his arms, and he remembers being cradled like this when his parents left. His grandfather had hefted him into his arms and whispered to him that everything would be alright, as he does now. 

“Maybe they were good for you for a time, and you can treasure those memories for the rest of time, but you don’t need to make excuses for them. Do you know why?” Tobio shakes his head, still not removing himself from his grandfather’s embrace.

“Because someone even better will come and find you, I promise.”

He hears Tobio suck in a breath and they part minutely for the younger to look at him with warm, hopeful eyes. 

“Someone better?” he asks, his voice cracking at the end, the years of unresolved emotions heavy on his tongue. Kazuyo pats his head, like he used to when things were easier.

“Someone who cares about you as deeply and as passionately as you care about them. Someone who’s willing to _live_ for you and be with you. To face life and its danger and hardship, _right beside you_. Do you understand, Tobio?” 

Tobio relaxes and lets out a sigh of relief before turning to his grandfather with an earnest smile that Kazuyo swears adds years to his life. He’s glad he got to see Tobio smile again, even if he dies tomorrow. 

“I missed you, Tobio, we _both_ did. I hope you stay long enough for us to show you how much.”

Strong arms wrap themselves around Kazuyo again, this time tighter, and he can feel the sense of desperation in the way Tobio clings to him. He returns the hug, hoping that he can convey to his grandson even a fraction of the love he holds for him. 

Tobio leans his head against his while Kazuyo brings a hand up to rub circles into his back reassuringly. Kazuyo feels Tobio’s chest stutter under his palm, he hears his breath hitch. He tries to pull away to offer comfort but Tobio just holds him tighter to his chest, like he’ll vanish into thin air if he lets go. A quiet sniffle reaches his ear before the light shaking turns into deep sobs as his grandson breaks down in his arms.

Kazuyo isn’t sure how long he sits there holding his little boy in his arms. He feels tears stark to trickle down his own face and tightens his grip. A few moments of silence pass. Kazuyo _feels_ more than hears Tobio’s next words. They light a fire in his chest and a warmth radiates through his whole body when the words leave Tobio’s lips. 

“I missed you too, both of you. I won’t be leaving again. I’m right where I belong.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please look out for the rest of this story in the coming weeks and tell me what you guys think!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed chapter 1! chapter 2 will drop in the next week or two depending on my schedule, but please look forward to it!  
> You can follow [me](https://twitter.com/iloveshouyo), [Zoe](https://twitter.com/tdrtea) and [Minty](https://twitter.com/Megumintu) on twitter. Please leave a comment if you enjoyed the first chapter and subscribe if you want to see more :)
> 
> LINK TO MINTY'S ART [HERE](https://twitter.com/Megumintu/status/1340728901601902592)


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